Our subconscious minds have no sense of humour, play no jokes,
and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image”
Robert Collier (1885-1950) Motivational author
A wise monk was sitting, meditating, by the side of the road between Varanasi and Delhi. A traveller came along and asked the monk, “I have just left Varanasi and am headed for Delhi. Have you been there and can you tell me what it is like?”
The wise, old monk replied by asking the traveller, “How did you find Varanasi?”
The traveller shook his head and said, “It is a terrible place. Everyone is out to get you and the merchants are all dishonest. My trade is right down”.
The monk nodded and said, “Ah, interesting. Yes, you will find it is the same in Delhi”.
Some hours later another travelled came past the old monk sitting in the same place, meditating by the side of the road. He too said to the monk, “I have just left Varanasi and am headed for Delhi. Have you been there and can you tell me what it is like?”
Again the monk asked, “How did you find Varanasi?”
The traveller replied, “Fantastic. The people were wonderful. They were hospitable and friendly. I had great results with my trading and I am happy to return there any time”.
“Ah, interesting,” said the monk. Yes, you will find it is the same in Delhi”.
What we think about we bring about. Our frame of reference determines how we process information and determines our expectations, and thus our outcomes. If our expectation is one of negativity, our experience will be one of negativity. As the story shows, the external situation didn’t change, Varanasi was the same place, however, both travellers had a different experience because of their mental attitude and expectation. The wise monk knew that the quality of our thinking and beliefs determines our experience. When we choose to be conscious of what we think about with positive expectations, then we can change the way things are in our experience.
Another way of describing this is the cup half empty / cup half full metaphor. Whatever way we view the world, situation or event, when we run those neural pathways based on what we believe, we will have that outcome. To have things differently, we need to consciously catch ourselves when we think a negative or limiting thought, and then flip it by running a positive, useful, uplifting thought which runs a different neural pathway. Running a positive neutral pathway must change our results. We cannot change anyone or anything else, we can only change how we use our own mind.
When things are less favourable (in our perception), it can provide a point of contrast for us. For example, if we feel angry, we can use that to know that our boundaries have probably been breached, and then we can choose a better feeling thought to focus on. When we do that we dissipate the anger by running a different neural pathway.
It is important to note that when our boundaries are breeched that doesn’t mean we need to condone any action that clashes with our values. We need to work through our feelings, and first find a better feeling thought. Then we need to find strategies that will enable us to change the situation. It may be that we need to learn to speak up and maintain our boundaries more often.
When we change our thinking process, we change our actions. When we change our actions we change our results. We then find that things that used to happen to annoy us begin not to happen anymore.
Removing limiting beliefs
There are numerous ways to eliminate our negative, limiting beliefs. Here is one way. It is very easy and fast. The first thing we need to do is to identify what our limiting beliefs are before we can get rid of them. One simple way to do this is the following three step process.
- Identify your goals in each life area. (With the mindset of, “What would I want to achieve if I wasn’t afraid, and I knew I couldn’t fail”).
· Health and wellbeing· Intimate relationship
· Family / Relationships / social · Business /career · Prosperity / financial wellbeing
|
· Spirituality· Experiences / fun
· Learning · Environment · Community
|
- Write our any limiting beliefs that you have around your goals – whatever they might be – no censoring!
- Write out the new desired belief that negates the limiting belief. (Then cross out the beliefs in the limiting beliefs column).The following is an example of one of my life areas.
Area | Goals | Limiting Belief | New Belief |
Health and Wellbeing | · Weigh 59-61 kg· Complete 50km Highland Fling
· Maintain my body in optimum condition – strength, stamina, flexibility, health · Practice advanced level yoga poses
|
· When you are 50 it’s hard to lose those extra kilos· At middle age women need some extra fat
· I’m not as fit and flexible as I used to be · It’s hard to find time each day to exercise
|
· I easily maintain my perfect weigh of 59-61 kg· I easily find time each day to exercise
· Exercise and mediation are part of my daily routine · I am as flexible as a young child · I’m good at yoga and I love it! |
Act as if
One of the most amazing ways to begin to reprogram our thinking and beliefs is to “act as if”. It works on two neurological premises. First, that the unconscious mind cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is not real (remember the lemon task). Second, by running a desired state neural pathway we are anchoring that into our neurology. The more we run that pathway (with feeling!) the faster it becomes a thick neural pathway and it has to become our reality. This is a form of active mental rehearsal
So… my new affirmation is that I happily and easily weigh 59 kg, and I am fit, strong and healthy. I exercise daily and my body is as flexible as a child’s, serving me beautifully. I eat wonderful, fresh, nutritious food and enjoy looking after and nurturing myself. This enables me to live my life with vitality and vigour, doing all of the things I love and will serve me through my long and active life.
I encourage you to think about what beliefs are serving you and which ones you might like to reprogram NOW!
If you would like a template to complete this activity please go to http://www.ilad.com.au/learning-resources/free-downloads/item/download/6
As always, I would be delighted if you would share your thoughts and results with me at c.egle@ilad.com.au